Young Frankenstein // Rocky Horror Picture Show // The Faculty // Other // Star Wars // Dead Poet's Society // The Matrix // Help // A Hard Day's Night

[A Hard Day's Night]

John - (trying to scare man out of the train car): Give us a Kiss.

John - We know how to behave. We've had lessons.

Ringo - Have any of you lot put a man in the cupboard?

Reporter - What do you call that hairstyle you're wearing?
George - Arthur.

Reporter - How did you find America?
John - Turn left at Greenland.

Reporter - Are you a mod or a rocker?
Ringo - I'm a mocker.

Reporter - Do you think these haircuts have come to stay?
Ringo - Well this one has. Stuck on good and proper now. *tugs on hair*


Ringo - That old man doesn't like me, it's because I'm small.
George - You have an inferiority complex.
Ringo - That's why I play the drums. To compensate.

George - He's very fussy about his drums. They loom large in his legend.


Paul - He's probably into some kind of orgy by now.
John - Orgy? Orgy! *runs out the door*

Ringo - Do I snore, John?
John - Yeah, you're a window rattler, son.

Norm - Lennon, put them girls down or I'll tell your mother on you!

John - Here he is, the middle aged boy wonder.

 

 


[Help!]

Ringo - Hey, someone's got a hold of me finger!
John - Are you tryin' to attract attention again?

John - What are you doing?
Ringo (arm is stuck in mailbox) - Posting a letter.

George - Hey, it's a thingie! A fiendish thingie!

*Ahme pulls out a needle. George faints.*
John - Now see what y've done with your filthy eastern ways?
Ahme - No, it is Klang, the high priest, who is filthy in his eastern ways!
John - How do you know your not just as filthy and sent by them to nick the ring by being filthy when you have lulled us with your filthy eastern ways?
Paul - What filthy ways are these?

Ringo - What was it that first attracted you to me?
John - Well, you're very polite, aren't you?

Ringo - They have to paint me red before they chop me. It's a different religion from ours...I think.

Ringo - I thought she was a sandwich, till she went spare on me hand.

Ringo - The firebrigade got me head out of some railings once.
John - Did you want them to?
Ringo - No, i used to leave it there when I wasn't using it for school. You can see a lot of the world from railings.

John - No one knows we're here but Paul and me.
George - I know we're here.

George - I didn't encourage that wink!

Ringo - Have you been messing about with me and my kip?
John - What?
Ringo - You know, with a fishing rod.
John - I wouldn't touch you with a plastic one...

John - What are you doing on the floor?
Ringo - I'm tired.

Klang - They all look the same with their...similitude and language!


Minion - Excuse me sirs, if he is to be sacrificed before the dread Kyelie, why is he not painted red?
John - That's a question I haven't been able to pluck up the courage to ask him...but as he's me friend, I will.

John - Has somebody been in this soup?

Ringo - There's a certain amount of hurry up involved here, as my life is at stake...

Scientist - With this ring I could -- dare I say it? -- rule the world!

*George and Ringo are playing cards*
Paul - Very lighthearted.
John - Discard it.
Paul - Without even a backward glance.
George (to Ringo) - They're talking 'bout your finger, you know.

John - You haven't made use of that finger in the past hour. And we're in danger as well, you know. Me and Paul haven't seen you make any use of that finger, have we, Paul?
Paul - No.
John - No doubt about it--we're risking our lives to preserve a useless member.

*George puts down a deck of cards*
George - Are you going to cut or not?
Ringo - No, I'm not going to cut, and let that be an end to it! END TO IT!

Paul - You don't miss your tonsils, do yeh?
Ringo - And how would you know? HOW WOULD YOU KNOW?
John - Oh, why don't you chop it off, Ringo!
Ringo - Look John, I've had some pretty great times with this finger. *turns to Paul* And how do you know I wouldn't miss it?
Paul - ..You're a rat underneath, aren't you?

George - I'm always gettin' winked at these days. Used to be you, didn't it, Paul?

*Ringo is trapped in a cellar with a tiger*
Superintendent - Don't worry, he's absolutely harmless -- all you have to do is sing Beethoven's 'Ode to Joy' from his famous 9th Symphony in D minor!
John (to Ringo) - Of course! Why didn't you think of that, you twit!

*Paul has been shrunk*
Ringo (stamps foot. red spot appears on the floor.) - ...Paul?
John (quietly) - Look what you've done...

John - Quit trying to drag things down to your own level. It's immature, son.

Ringo - Come on John, get up! Come on Johnny, get up! Work with me baby, come on!

George - Bad Machine!

 

 

 

[The Matrix]

Agent Smith: Did you know that the first Matrix was designed to be a perfect human world, where none suffered; where everyone would be happy. It was a disaster. No one would accept the program. Entire crops were lost. Some believed that we lacked the programming language to describe your perfect world, but I believe that as a species, human beings define their reality through misery and suffering. So the perfect world we dreamed, but your primitive cerebrum kept trying to wake up from. Which is why The Matrix was redesigned to this...the peak of your civilization.

Morpheus: The Matrix is everywhere. It is all around us. Even now in this very room. You can see it when you look out your window. Or when you turn on your television. You can feel it when you go to work. When you go to Church. When you pay your taxes. It is the world that has been pulled over your eyes to blind you from the truth.


Morpheus: As long as The Matrix exists, the human race will never be free.

Morpheus: Unfortunately, no one can be....told what The Matrix is...you have to see it for yourself.

Neo: I know you're out there. I can feel you now. I know that you're afraid. You're afraid of us. You're afraid of change. I don't know the future. I didn't come here to tell you how this is going to end. I came here to tell you how it's going to begin. I'm going to hang up this phone, and then I'm going to show these people what you don't want them to see. I'm going to show them a world....without you. A world without rules and controls. Without borders or boundaries. A world where anything is possible. Where we go from there, is a choice I leave to you.

Neo: What are you trying to tell me? That I can dodge bullets?
Morpheus: No, Neo. I'm trying to tell you that when you're ready, you won't have to.

Agent Smith: Like the dinosaur.....Look out that window. You had your time. The future is our world, Morpheus. The future is our time.

Trinity: He told me I wasn't really looking for him. I was looking for an answer. It's the question that drives us, Neo. It's the question that brought you here. You know the question, just as I did.
Neo: What is the Matrix?
Trinity: The answer is out there, Neo. It's looking for you. And it will find you. If you want it to.

Morpheus: Welcome to the real world!

Morpheus: The Matrix is a system, Neo. That system is our enemy. But when you're inside, you look around and what do you see? Businessmen, Teachers, Lawyers, Carpenters...the very minds of the people we're trying to save. But until we do, these people are still a part of that system, and that makes them our enemy. You have to understand, most of these people are not ready to be unplugged. And many of them are so innerred, so hopelessly dependent on the system that they will that they will fight to protect it. Are you listening to me, Neo? Or were you looking at the woman in the red dress?
Neo: I was....
Morpheus: Look again. (Neo turns around and sees an agent pointing a gun at him) Freeze it!

Morpheus: You take the blue pill, the story ends...you wake up in your bed and believe whatever you want to believe. You take the red pill, you stay in wonderland and I'll show you how deep the rabbit hole goes.

Neo: I know what you're trying to do.
Morpheus: I'm trying to free your mind, Neo. But I can only show you the door. You're the one who has to walk through it.

Agent Smith: Have you ever stood and stared at it? Marveled at it's beauty? It's genius? Billions of people just living out their lives......oblivious....

Morpheus: We have survived by hiding from them...by running from them. But they are the gatekeepers. They are guarding all the doors, they are holding all the keys, and that means that sooner or later, someone is going to have to fight them.
Neo: Someone?
Morpheus: I won't lie to you, Neo. Every single man or woman who has stood their ground, EVERYONE who has fought an agent has died. But where they have failed, you will succeed.
Neo: Why?
Morpheus: I've seen an agent punch through a concrete wall. Men have emptied entire clips and hit nothing but air. Yet their strength is and their speed are still based in a world that is build on rules, and because of that, they will never be as strong or as fast as you can be.

Choi: Hey, it just sounds like you need to unplug, man!

Neo: What truth?
Morpheus: That you are a slave, Neo. Like everyone else, you were born into bondage. Born into a prison that you cannot smell or taste or touch. A prison....for your mind.

Morpheus: Sooner or later you're going to realize, just as I did, there's a difference between knowing the path...and walking it.

Morpheus: Your appearance now is what we call 'residual self image'. It is the mental projection of your digital self.

Morpheus: What is real? How do you define real? If you're talking about what you can feel, what you can smell, what you can taste and see...then real is simply ... electrical signals interpreted by your brain.

Spoon Boy: Do not try and bend the spoon. That's impossible. Instead, only try to realize the truth.
Neo: What truth?
Spoon Boy: There is no spoon.
Neo: There is no spoon?
Spoon Boy: Then you will see that it is not the spoon that bends, it is only yourself.

Cypher: It means buckle your seatbelt, Dorothy, 'cause Kansas, is goin' bye-bye.

Morpheus: C'mon, stop trying to hit me and hit me!

Morpheus: Welcome to the desert...of the real.

Neo: I thought it wasn't real.
Morpheus: Your mind makes it real.


Neo: If you're killed in the Matrix, you die here?
Morpheus: The body cannot live without the mind.

Neo: Am I dead?
Morpheus: Far from it.

Agent Thompson: You!
Agent Smith: Yes, me.
*turns Thompson into another Smith*
Agent Smith: Me... me... me...
Agent Smith Clone: Me too.

Agent Smith: Do you know what the best thing about being me is?
*All the doors open, lots of Smith clones step out*
Agent Smith: There's lots of me!

Neo: So we need machines, and machines need us. Is that your point?
Councillor Harmann: No, no point. Old men like me don't bother in making points. There is no point.
Neo: Is that why there are no young men on the council?
Councillor Harmann: Good point.

Merovingian: Don't you love the French language? I have sampled every language, French is my favorite. Fantastic language. Especially to curse with.
*lotsa cursin*
Merovingian: It's like wiping your ass with silk, I love it.

Neo: Why are you here?
The Oracle: Same reason. I love candy.

The Oracle: So, let's get the obvious stuff out of the way.
Neo: You're not human, are you?
The Oracle: Well, it's harder to get much more obvious than that.

Trinity: Is Neo okay?
Link: Okay? Shit, Morpheus, you should have seen him.
Morpheus: Where is he now?
*Link looks at a computer*
Link: He's doin' his Superman thing.

 

[Dead Poets Society]

Mr. Keating: Seize the day.

Mr. Keating: We don't read and write poetry because its cute, we read and write poetry because we are members of the human race, and the human race is filled with passion.

Mr. Keating: No matter what anybody tells you - Words and ideas can change the world.

Mr. Keating: They're not that different from you, are they? Same haircuts. Full of hormones, just like you. Invincible, just like you feel. The world is their oyster. They believe they're destined for great things, just like many of you, their eyes are full of hope, just like you. Did they wait until it was too late to make from their lives even one iota of what they were capable? Because, you see gentlemen, these boys are now fertilizing daffodils. But if you listen real close, you can hear them whisper their legacy to you. Go on, lean in. Listen, you hear it? --- Carpe --- hear it? --- Carpe, carpe diem, seize the day boys, make your lives extraordinary.

Mr. Keating: And medicine, law, business, engineering, these are noble pursuits and necessary to sustain life. But poetry, beauty, romance, love, these are what we stay alive for. To quote from Whitman, "O me! O life!... of the questions of these recurring; of the endless trains of the faithless--of cities filled with the foolish; what good amid these, O me, O life? Answer. That you are here - that life exists, and identity; that the powerful play goes on and you may contribute a verse." That the powerful play goes on and you may contribute a verse. What will your verse be?

Mr. Keating: Sucking all the marrow out of life doesn't mean choking on the bone.

Mr. Keating: There is a time for daring and a time for caution, and a wise man knows which is called for.

Mr. Keating: We're not laughing at you - we're laughing near you.

Mr. Keating: Why do we need language?
Neil: To communicate...
Mr. Keating: Nooo!! To woo women!

McAllister: Show me the heart unfettered by foolish dreams and I'll show you a happy man.
Mr. Keating: But only in their dreams can men be truly free. 'Twas always thus and always thus will be.
McAllister: Tennyson?
Mr. Keating: No, Keating.

Todd Anderson: I... I close my eyes. His image floats beside me. A sweaty-toothed madman with a stare that pounds my brain.
Mr. Keating: Excellent! Have him act. Give it rhythm!
Todd Anderson: His hands reach out and choke me
[All the time he mumbles slowly]
Todd Anderson: Truth... Truth is like a blanket that always leaves your feet cold.
Mr. Keating: [some of the class start to laugh] To hell with them, more about the blanket!
Todd Anderson: Stretch it, pull it, it will never cover any of us. Kick at it, beat at it, it will never be enough-
Mr. Keating: Don't stop!
Todd Anderson: From the moment we enter crying to the moment we leave dying, it will cover just your head as you wail and cry and scream!

[Keating is standing on his desk]
Mr. Keating: Why do I stand up here?
Dalton: To look taller!
Mr. Keating: No!
[Dings a bell with his foot]
Mr. Keating: Thank you for playing Mr. Dalton. I stand upon my desk to remind myself that we must constantly look at things in a different way.

Mr. Keating: Boys, you must strive to find your own voice. Because the longer you wait to begin, the less likely you are to find it at all. Thoreau said, "Most men lead lives of quiet desperation." Don't be resigned to that. Break out!

Mr. Keating: Now we all have a great need for acceptance, but you must trust that your beliefs are unique, your own, even though others may think them odd or unpopular, even though the herd may go, "that's b----a----d." Roberts Frost said, "Two roads diverged in the wood and I, I took the one less traveled by, and that has made all the difference."

Mr. Keating: I SOUND MY BARBARIC YAWP OVER THE ROOFTOPS OF THE WORLD.

Mr. Keating: This is a battle, a war, and the casualties could be your hearts and souls.

 

 

[Star Wars]

Darth Vader: Don't underestimate the force.

Princess Leia Organa: Well you stuckup, halfwitted, scuffy looking nerfperfer

Yoda: Yes, the Jedi strength flows from the force, but beware the dark side.

Leia: "I don't know where you get your delusions, Laserbrain"

Yoda: "Try not! Do or do not, there is no try."

Han to Leia: "He's a scoundrel, you would like him."

C3PO: "They are using a very primative dialect, but I do believe that they think I am some sort of god."

Yoda: "For my ally is the force, and a powerful ally it is."

Yoda: "Always in motion is the future."

C3PO: "How did we get into this mess?... I really don't know how. We seem to be made to suffer. It's our lot in life."

Yoda: "So certain are you. Always with you it cannot be done."

Yoda: "You must unlearn what you have learned."

Yoda: "Fear is the path to the dark side. Fear leads to anger, anger leads to hate, hate, leads to suffering.

Obi-Wan Kenobi: "Who is the more foolish, the fool or the fool that follows him?

Obi- Wan Kenobi: "It's not about the mission, Master. It's something elsewhere, elusive.

Jacen Solo: "I don't know how to explain it. It's like a feeling, but more deep, something more to it.



[The Craft]

???: You girls watch out for those weirdos.
Nancy: We are the weirdos, mister

Sarah: What's wrong with her?
Rochelle: Her spells not working.
Bonnie: What spell?
Rochelle: I don't know. She doesn't want to be white trash anymore. I told her, "You're white honey! Just get over it."

 

 

[The Faculty]

Casey: It must really blow being you.
Stan: You have no idea.

Marybeth Louise Hutchinson: You're borrowing it from science labs?
Zeke: I like to think of it as stealing actually. Just doing my part to the deconstruction of America.

Zeke: I'm a contradiction.

Coach Willis: You're not much into sports.
Casey: I feel that a person should run only when he's being chased.

Casey: God, you can be such a...
Delilah: What?
Casey: Pretty cool human being when you're not being a first class grade A bitch.
Delilah: Are you hitting on me Casey?
Casey: No. No, I just think that you can be cool. Sometimes. This not being one of them.

Stokely: I used to think the only alien in this high school was me.

Stokely: So they've just been setting us up over the years with their E.T.'s and their Men In Black movies, just so no one would believe it if it ever happened.
Casey: I think so.

Casey: If you were going to take over the world, would you blow up the White House 'Independence Day' style, or sneak in through the back door?

Marybeth: You know in my world Casey there were limitless oceans as far as the eye could see. Beautiful huh? Till it started to dry out. So I escaped, came here, and I met you, all of you, and all of you were different from the others. You were lost and lonely, just like me. And I thought that maybe I could give you a taste of my world. A world without anger, without fear, without attitude. Where the underachiever goes home at night to parents that care. The jock can be smart, the ugly duckling beautiful, and the class wuss doesn't have to live in terror. The new girl - well - the new girl she can just fit right in with anybody. People who are just like her. You see Casey, even Mary-Beth's feelings can be hurt by a bunch of pathetic, lost, little outcasts who truly believe that their disaffected lonely life is the only way they can survive. I can make you a part of something so special Casey, so perfect, so fearless.... Don't you want that, Casey?

Delilah: Your fanclub is here.
Casey: Network or local?
Delilah: Both.

Stan: Open... the door. It is so much better. There's no fear. No pain. It's beautiful. And you will be beautiful. You'll be beautiful. No problems or worries. We want you. I want you. I... want... you... Now open the fucking door!

Stan: I'm not an alien, I'm discontent.

Zeke: If anyone finds us in here, pretend we're making out. The punishment is less severe.

 

[Rocky Horror picture Show]

Narrator: I would like, if I may, to take you on a strange journey

The Criminologist: And crawling om this planet's face, some insects called the human race. Lost in time. And lost in space... and meaning.

The Criminologist: [reading from dictionary] "Emotion: Agitation or disturbance of mind; vehement or excited mental state." It is also a powerful and irrational monster. And from what Magenta and Columbia eagerly viewed on their television monitor, there seemed little doubt that Janet was, indeed... its *slave*.

Janet: What have you done to Brad!
Frank: Nothing. Why, do you think I should?

Eddie: [singing] Hot patootie, bless my soul! I really love that rock n' roll!

Magenta: I ask for nothing!
Frank: And you shall receive it, IN ABUNDANCE!

Riff Raff: With a bit of a mind flip
Magenta: You're into a time slip
Riff Raff: And nothing can ever be the same.
Magenta: You're spaced out on sensation. HAH!
Riff Raff: Like you're under sedation!
All: Let's do the time warp again!

Riff Raff: [singing] It's astounding, time is fleeting, madness takes its toll.

Frank: Don't dream it, be it.

Frank: Because I've seen blue skies, through the tears in my eyes. And I realize, I'm going home.

Frank: It was strange the way it happened. One of those quirks of fate. One of those moments when the chips are down, you're trapped, there's no way out and even if there was it would probably be a one way ticket to the bottom of the bay. Then you get a break! All of the pieces seem to fit into place. It took a small aciddent to make it happen. AN ACCIDENT! And that is how I discovered the secret. That elusive ingredient, that... spark that is the breath of life... yes I have that knowledge! I hold the key to life... ITSELF!!

Janet: If only we were amongst friends... or sane persons!

 

 

 

 

[Young Frankenstein]

Dr. Friedrich von Frankenstein: Igor, would you give me a hand with the bags?
Igor: [doing a Groucho Marx] Certainly, you take the blonde and I'll take the one in the turban.

[From inside the haycart.]
Inga: Hallo! Vould you like a roll in ze hay?
[Dr. Frankenstein stutters]
Inga: It's fun!
[She begins to roll in the hay.]
Inga: Roll, roll, roll in ze hay!

Dr. Friedrich von Frankenstein: Damn your eyes!
Igor: Too late.

Medical Student: What about your grandfather's work?
Dr. Friedrich von Frankenstein: My grandfather's work was doo-doo!

Dr. Friedrich von Frankenstein: [singing] If you're blue, and you don't know where to go to, why don't you go where fashion sits...
The Monster: [in a high, squeaky voice] 'UTTIN' ON THE 'IIIIITZ!

Dr. Frederick Frankenstein: [I]'d rather be remembered for my own small contributions to science, and because of my accidental relationship to a famous . . . coo-coo.

some quotes from cracked-genius.net

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